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The romance of the road

March 24, 2013

E=mc2

Which means, energy is a property of mass. Every tiny particle of mass contains an explosive quantity of energy. It makes you wonder, really, why these great big legs of mine don’t seem to want to move. There’s so much energy stored up in there that, if only I could find a way to release it, I’d be running across the park like a stag.

I think I would like to be a stag. Grand, majestic antlers – massive strength – an eye for the pretty wee does. Alas, I am more the stag beetle type, and the does do not have eyes for me. Not like when – well, anyway. The bench, at least, is warm.

It’s good to feel the sun on my bones. Energy from millions of miles away, with enough strength left to heat a whole planet. The energy inside me doesn’t seem to have the strength to heat a cup of tea. I’d like a cup of tea. That would go down a treat.

Spare a penny?

No, alright, thought not. A penny wouldn’t do it, anyway, not these days. Not like when – well, anyway.

I miss youth. I miss being clean and respectable. I miss that feeling that life had a purpose. That’s where the energy comes from, of course. From having a purpose. This aimless existence is a kind of atrophy, an endless descent into formlessness. Skiving is no fun unless there’s something else you’re meant to be doing.

Now my purpose is – this. Sobriety. Acceptance. To live in the present, never knowing what the future might hold. Every moment of solitude and clear thought, a moment of being utterly aware.

The sad news is that, right now, my moment, my awareness, boils down to – this. Lethargy on a bench, not even a cup of tea to my name.  Let’s just say that life wasn’t always like this.

Bloody hell, I’m not cut out for this.
I’ve only been here four hours.
I could go home, I suppose. Mum said it was pasta for dinner.

[Sunday scribblings]

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 25, 2013 8:02 am

    You are able to pack a surprising amount of emotion into this short piece. Well done. It was really enjoyable to read and watch unravel.
    –JW

    • March 25, 2013 4:52 pm

      Thanks – appreciate you taking the time to feed back 🙂 And, of course, happy you enjoyed the piece!

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