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A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

February 28, 2013

Sticker goddessRumours prompt.

Some years ago I heard a rumour that there was a sticker goddess inhabiting the wilds of Chepstow.

At first I didn’t believe it at all.

If it was even possible that there might be a deity made purely from the spirit and flesh of unwanted packaging labels, it seemed highly unlikely that she would decide to take up residence in the vicinity of a small racing town just off the M4.

But the rumours spread and multiplied. They flew hither and thither, agitated, buzzing, honey-dancing and all pointing the same way.

Everybody (or at least everybody’s cousin’s neighbour’s auntie’s cleaning lady’s daughter-in-law’s best friend, which is nearly the same thing) had seen it. Everybody except me, that is. What self-respecting paranormal pagan detective could fail to investigate? Not this one.

I trudged the lanes and tracks, the back-waters and by-ways. I climbed rabbit-paths up into the hills and followed sheep-paths down into the valleys. I inspected trees and examined bushes. I rifled through the long grass and trundled over the short grass. Come rain or shine, hail or snow, wind or fog, I wandered ceaselessly, restlessly, unflinching. Even when a cow bit me.

It took me seven long months. Eventually, I found her. Such ecstasy! Every toe lost to blisters was worth it! Every finger lost to frostbite was worth it! To commune with the sticker goddess is to complete oneself, utterly. I took a picture, but a goddess cannot be captured by mere pixels. So I have only my memories – but such vivid memories they are!

The moral of this story? Suspend your disbelief and follow your dreams, becomes sometimes the rumours are true.

Of course, sometimes they aren’t. The trick is to know when to take them seriously, and when to shrug your shoulders and get on with your life.

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