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Out of focus

April 11, 2012
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Everything’s a bit of a blur right now.

Tired. Burning out? Miss my mum. Feeling weird about sorting through old photos, remembering an old life that is forever gone, shrugged off, carelessly. Dissipated. Whatever it is, it feels like I’m losing momentum, losing focus, losing the way. Too many unfinished thoughts. Slipping into disjointed sentences. Worrying about widows and orphans instead of, you know, real things.

I thought this malaise might be a response to the fact that my newly raised standards have been slipping, so I had a quick blitz earlier and got rid of all the little piles, the developing hotspots, the washing up. It looks nicer, but the lift in my mood was brief and now I just want to sit here and eat crisps and think up reasons to feel sorry for myself. Quick, somebody, get me a violin.

UPDATE:

There’s only so many crisps you can eat before you have to go and declutter your bedroom. My bedroom is the focus for Week 6 of the 8-week plan. Oh, wow – I just realised that I’m on *week 6* of the 8-week plan. That’s cheering!

SECOND UPDATE:

Yeah, decluttering. Is a good thing.

Much yarn filed, and many old clothes bagged up, and a big sack of rubbish. And I tried out my new non-FlyLady “rubba scrubba” on some cat hair. It may not be a miracle product (who knew?) but it did do a pretty good job of brushing off the cat hair, which cheered me up a surprising amount.

I think I still might need a nice cathartic trip to the dump, though.

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