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Uphill

February 29, 2012
Crickley Hill, Gloucestershire - cloudy day

How does it feel?

Day 4 is sticky-note day: in addition to the daily tasks repeated from days 1 to 3. My bathroom mirror now includes sticky notes reminding me of the things that need to be done. I suppose it’s just as well because each day the list gets longer! I am trying not to think about what the final babysteps day (eek! Day 31!)  is going to look like.

I’m definitely more bought in to some aspects of this than others.

“Shine my Sink!” has a whole sticky note all to itself, displayed prominently and at a jaunty angle. I have totally fallen in love with my shiny sink.

On the other hand, all the other tasks are crowded onto a single shared note placed shyly off to one side. The little tasks that don’t actually involve any cleaning all seem a bit pointless. I mean, I can see the point, and I’m doing them anyway – more or less – but I’m impatient with them. It all seems a bit uphill and I’m waiting for a new task that will earn itself a jaunty note all to itself.

And there is a sulky little voice saying that it really doesn’t matter, actually, whether I wear lace-up shoes or some other pair and, actually, if I can go into the office every day with no make-up on then, actually, I can shine my damn sink with no make-up on. And, actually, if my slip-on or zip-up shoes are good enough to feel business-like when I’m actually at work, doing actual business, then they are sure as shiny good enough to feel business-like at home. Actually.

Not sure if I should be rebelling so soon but here’s my confession as to that “more or less”: I’m going to wear shoes, and proper shoes at that, but I’m not going to stress about my shoes, and I’m certainly not going to start smearing crap on my face – because that isn’t going to help.

I’m not doing this to improve my sex appeal or body image or self-esteem or compliance with patriarchal norms. Well apart from the patriarchal norm that says women have to do all the childcare and housework, of course, but that’s coincidental. Someone’s got to do it and I’m the only grown-up here.

</rant>

Truthfully, although I needed to get that off my chest, I do understand why it’s on the list. (Not the shoes, I still don’t quite understand the importance of laces, and I probably never will. The make-up.) We all feel better about ourselves and more ready to face the world if we like what we see in the mirror, and some women – dare I say most? – find that make-up helps with that. Personally, I don’t.

No big deal – as with anything, you learn what you can and you use what works. When it comes to sinks and house-cleaning, I’m willing to trust that FlyLady knows best – but when it comes to my face, my body and my self-image I’m going to take my own advice.

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